Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Hopey New Year
Steve Scolnik @ 5:30 PM
[July] "In weather news, the formation of Hurricane Dennis is followed closely by the formation of Hurricane Emily, arousing suspicions among some staffers at the headquarters of the Federal Emergency Management Agency that hurricane season might be going on. It is agreed that somebody probably should look into this and write a report no later than Halloween."
[August] ". . . by far the biggest story in August is Hurricane Katrina, a massive, deadly storm that thrashes Florida, then heads into the Gulf of Mexico. For decades, experts have been warning that such a storm, if it were to hit New Orleans, would devastate the city; now it becomes clear that this is exactly what is about to happen. For days, meteorologists are on television warning, dozens of times per hour, that Katrina will, in fact, hit New Orleans with devastating results. Armed with this advance knowledge, government officials at the local, state and federal levels are in a position to be totally, utterly shocked when Katrina -- of all things -- devastates New Orleans. For several days, chaos reigns, with most of the relief effort taking the form of Geraldo Rivera, who, by his own estimate, saves more than 170,000 people."
[September] "With the horror of Katrina fresh in everyone's mind, a new hurricane, Rita, draws a bead on the Gulf Coast, causing millions of panicky Texans to get into their cars and flee an average distance of 150 feet before they become stuck in a monster traffic jam, where some remain for more than 12 hours. 'It was hell,' reports one traumatized victim. 'The classic rock station played 'Daydream Believer,' like, 53 freaking times.'
President Bush, after an aerial tour of the devastated region, tells reporters that he always kind of liked 'Daydream Believer.'"